2 YEARS SUGAR FREE

2 YEARS SUGAR FREE

(A twist on “one year, no beer”)

This month marks 2 years no sugar for me

I’ve had numerous substitutes for beer since I gave it up in 1999 at 22 years old.

Sugar, chips, crackers, along with all things binge-y and snack-y, filled the same alcohol & drug-shaped hole after I gave them up

The sugar game has been a much longer and more painful one to play, but I’m so grateful to say that it has been 2 years now that I have not indulged in any candy, cake, ice cream, cookies or any other confectionery.

I acknowledge myself for my commitment, my willingness to surrender day by day – even through cravings and temptations – and to recommit as needed to the decision that just for today, for this hour, this moment, I will not eat sugar.

I will not buy that bag of chips or cookies.

Those things are like beer for this alcoholic. Once I start, I can’t stop.

Most days, I live in a position of neutrality, safe and protected, from the desire to binge.

On rare days, suddenly I see the cafe dessert case from across the room, like it was a long-lost lover

I get captivated by the bright promise of pleasure that is held in the creamy crown of carrot cake, the cool pastel slice of lemon pie, the brown buttery crumbs of apple turnover, or the dark gaze of chocolate mousse.

Sugar and bingeing gave me that same warm embrace I sought in a romantic partner.

Nowadays, when I notice the urge to splurge, I see it as data – information about my internal landscape.

Something is off within me if I want to use food to medicate my emotions.

Today I don’t abandon myself, reject or ridicule, when I feel that old familiar craving come on, or that hollow emptiness that rises inside like thunderclouds building on the horizon

I just notice and be. I sit with myself. I acknowledge my awareness as an act of self love

The love I sought through sugar and substances, I give myself.

This I have found to be the winning formula- praying and staying in a space of willingness to surrender, moment by moment, any craving to numb.

Whether it be to use food, sugar, or smokes, sex, substances, or shopping – any and all of these can be void-fillers and vitality-killers.

I’ll keep sharing about my progress on this path in hopes it helps you on yours.

Wherever you are on your journey, I acknowledge you.

If you’re in denial or acceptance – suffering and hopelessnessor moment-to-moment surrender – or total freedom and peace, I invite you to meet yourself with compassion

And I will meet you there too.

Because I’ve been there before, and I know, and understand.

What is it for you? What is your crutch? And where are you on the journey?

There is no better use of my experience than to help others with what I have learned. I am here for you

PS – my foto is unedited, unairbrushed and unfiltered aside from basic lighting/color. No face or body smoothing or skinnying or youthify-ing effects have been applied.

This is the real me