Transform Yourself
2 years ago today the job I’d had for almost 13 years gave me shocking news: that if I did not move back to the US from overseas where I'd been working and living for 8 years, that I would be let go Everything in me was a HELL NO to their proposal – although …
2 YEARS SUGAR FREE (A twist on "one year, no beer") This month marks 2 years no sugar for me I've had numerous substitutes for beer since I gave it up in 1999 at 22 years old. Sugar, chips, crackers, along with all things binge-y and snack-y, filled the same alcohol & drug-shaped hole after …
I have short hair. It’s by default. Because it’s thin, fine, and wispy and grows at a snail's pace I have yearned for long hair since I was 11 years old and ogled my classmate Kathleen's long thick locks. I imagined myself wearing a wig - it was the only way I could see myself …
I changed my hair for you. I started growing it out, and I quit dying it funky colors 👩🎤 because you didn't like it short and pink. I got a manicure topped off with gold gel nail polish💅 to be more feminine, to try and please you. I quit ordering ethnic food because you said …
My hair is short. I don’t shampoo it. I don’t always wear a bra. I usually keep my nails cut short. I like wearing black eyeliner. I will spend a lot of money on good shoes and jackets. I get Botox sometimes. I’ve thought about getting some form of plastic surgery but haven’t. I don’t …
I want to share something about myself you may or may not know: I am a recovered alcoholic and drug addict. And I have 2 sobriety dates. Why? February 1, 1999, is the day I came back to AA and I have been clean and sober since then. I have not recreationally used alcohol, marijuana, …
Even though I’m older now. Almost 46. I’m still beautiful- Even if I don’t get the same external validation I did in my youth. I’m still beautiful- Even as my skin suit wrinkles, sags, and folds. I’m still beautiful- And I get to learn that if I want to hear it, I get to tell …
For Valentine’s, I blocked him 🚫 And in doing so, I chose myself👩❤️👩 I blocked him- not out of spite or malice- but out of protection of my own heart💓 Because by continuing a toxic connection, I was in essence blocking myself. Every time I compromised, every time I allowed, made a concession, justified or …
I got pregnant on New Years Eve, 1998. I was drunk.I still remember cheering NINETEEN NINETY-NINE like a madwoman outside the bar as fireworks went off at midnight.My full bladder didn't like all the jumping and screaming, so I made the drunken decision to keep celebrating and empty my bladder at the same time.I brought …
Four days before Christmas 2020, my job of almost 13 years gave me shocking news: that if I did not move back to the US from overseas where I’d been working and living for 8 years, that I would no longer have a job I considered the proposal for about 10 seconds. Everything in me …
Continue reading "My Nightmare before Xmas that turned into a Miracle"
Natalie Speakman 